Swanky ’24 Campaign Event Devolves Into All-Out Chaos and ‘Prolonged’ Flatulence

OPINION:  This article contains commentary which may reflect the author’s opinion

Every little boy who is born should— and will– grow up into a man, however, this does not mean all little boys grow up maturely.

Evidence of such maxim the hilarious fiasco that a press dinner on Tuesday, July 11th, quickly evolved into.

Page Six, who sent one reporter to the event, was so disgusted and horrified of what happened that night, the outlet started their very own report sayingL

“Page Six regrets to report that a press dinner to boost Robert F. Kennedy Jr.‘s presidential campaign descended into a foul bout of screaming and polemic farting Tuesday night.”

This article, which was written by Page Six’s writer, Mara Siegler, provided an amusing record of the night; which is more commonly seen on an elementary school playground, and certainly not at a high end dinner with the best ranked in New York.

When Kennedy was making obvious attempts to boost his long-shot presidential campaign, the expensive evening formed into a problem as “a shouting match over climate change” rose “between two boisterous old men, sending the evening down an extremely unfortunate path.”

It’s unclear who made the first comment that formed this chaos and disruption of the dinner, it nearly doesn’t matter, as the whole ordeal was a mess.

“The gaseous exchange — to which Page Six bore reluctant witness — began after a guest asked Kennedy, founder of the ecological organization Waterkeeper Alliance, about the environment,” Siegler reported.

The volume rose as the topic of the environment was brought into the conversation, disturbing the whole room.

“The climate hoax!” The event host, Dough Dechert, shouted. Journalist Seigler described this as the “apparently drunk gossip columnist-turned-flack.”

“Meanwhile, octogenarian art critic Anthony Haden-Guest, who appeared to have been sleeping happily for most of the dinner, was roused by the abrupt rumpus,” Siegler wrote.

Haden-Guest also allegedly called Dechert a “miserable blob” and commanded him to just “[shut] up!”

The art critic tossed down all allegations that he had been sleeping during the argument, stating that he “was just thinking”, and went on to claim that he was the one who started the argument, asking RFK Jr. about the environment.

The Epoch Times describes Dechert as “a force of nature” who puts his focus on “representing literary talent of the conservative persuasion.” He did not take pleasure in Haden-Guest’s comment, and the argument heated up from there.

Dechert continued to claim that climate change is a “scam.” To this, Haden-Guest called him “f***ing insane” and “insignificant,” according to Page Six’s reports.

Dechert had reached his wit’s end, and made the decision to let his actions speak quite a bit louder than his words– taking the immature route.

“I’m farting!” Dechert declared as he “let rip a loud, prolonged fart.”

Seigler went on to write in an aside:

Regrettably, we may assure readers that there was no room for doubt that the climate changed in the immediate environs of the dinner table.

The room, which included a handful of journalists as well as Kennedy’s campaign manager, former Rep. Dennis Kucinich, was stunned, seemingly unsure about whether Dechert was farting at Haden-Guest personally or at the very notion of global warming.

Guest of honor, Haden-Guest did not give a reaction, Seigler wrote, noticing that “Kennedy remained composed throughout the screams and farts.”

Dechert went on to personally request that Page Six would describe him as a “beer-fueled sex rocket,” then apologized the very next day for his unprofessional actions.

“I apologize for using my flatulence as a medium of public commentary in your presence,” Dechert stated publicly. However, the “beer fueled sex rocket” took no stand in apologizing for his hatred against climate change.


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